Putri Nona

Saturday

2012-02-12T00:15:00.001+08:00

-halfway pakai beanie, after that rimas=='a

- meet wan<3

i look ugly here pfft

firstly, i already typed this out. was blogging via ipad and i accidently erased everything. unlike web, it will save to drafts. but on my ipad it ddnt. so frustrated!
but whatever live goes on hahahaha fuck tkde link

to start off, i had a rough day. not through out the day.....just the earlier part. arguing w wan is just not the best thing to do.

how fucking late he replied me is one thing. fucking late. more than 4 hours is just too late.
reason why he reply me late

jealous. so ignored me n went to sleep.
pegi main takraw taktau sampai pukul brape so ddnt text me.

the fact that he replied me in a way which just get on my nerves is another thing.

basically i was pissed abt that so i tweeted some stuffs. which made him way mad. sampai he cakap all girls are the same. end up leaving.

"wtf sia you?"

" fuck la. im no toy la fuck! if you dont wish to stay for long then dont come into my life"

i dont have intentions to leave pun sia. hais. even if i were to argue w any guy they dont use vulgar.... tapi takpe sayang kau jugak. haha. so ya bfore that i mcm nak taknak keluar. but i ended up meeting him at town. he apologised:') whatever it is, i was at fault too.

okay moving on.........

daniel, if youre reading this. i just want to say sorry. i saw what you tweeted and yeah i am truly very sorry. i know in your eyes i am no nice girl. whatever i did was never on my list....i just had to. im sorry.

hais so i did some editing to few of my previous post. decided to use point forms. some which doesnt require completed sentences. its easier to read i guess. 8000+ views, ofcourse i want it to be easier for ppl to read.

i guess that is all, i will blog about my elective module showcase later! goodnight:)

i love my saturday

2012-02-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

i met daniel. my so called bear, joined him n his friends to play pool. which i dont know how to.
met my bbg erah. she had a movie date and we meet up after that.
stop by scape to meet rahim n gilbert.
** saw asrf. bt ignored each other. great. yeah well i am suppoe to ignore him.
went back to erah's place. changed to our fbt shorts n oversized tee.
rahim, gilbert, wan, faiz came over after 12.
we watched saw 7. ddnt sleep at all till the next morning around 8 we went for breakfast, prata!
so wan lanchowski(fb name, hehe) wanted to treat me today, to watch chronicles. but im too tired. nanti tertidur pulak kat dalam cinema. haha. i told him to watch it next week. he said it would be boring alrd!

but yeah overall my sat was awesome spent it w awesome people. love them!

some shit on my mind i needa clear

2012-02-03T21:31:00.000+08:00

i have flaws too. not flawless at all. i cover it up w make up. i look like shit in school. some people may think im too skinny. some people think im just any other average girl. some people just think im nt good enough not pretty enough. well that is what people do, point out people weaknesses n flaws n talk shit. people will judge you no matter you do good or bad. but nobody's perfect, remember?

some non-smokers hating people who smokes. why non-smokers? smokers dont hate non-smokers right. so whats the hating all about. saying girls who smokes are turn off n all that. so, you trynna say girls who dont smoke are extra turn on? its the attitude that matter. its not about looking cool n fitting in all that. you people judge. too much. society is fucked up.

*i hate people talking bad about me. its like what have i done to your lives that yall needa do this? ade menyusahkan hidup korang ke? i mean yeah gossiping is normal, everyone talks about each other. but there are limits.

i dont have alot of close friends. those who are close to me i keep em close. erah, rahim, aisyah. i think they're the people i do treasure right now. those who i left, THERE'S A FUCKING REASON why i did that. if u treat me right i'll treat u right. if yre not worth my time, i aint wasting my time on u honey.

* amirul asrf. ugh damn damn damn, i feel like killing myself i swear. geram dengan diri sendiri. why am i still holding on..why am i not moving on. why....................its time to stop thinking about him. why do i still care for someone who doesnt give a shit abt me? we broke up and its not my loss. i have to think it that way. he's not the only guy that exist. its hard la fuck it!!!!! aduiii. she asked me" you get back tgt w asrf isit? i saw the pic on fb...." n i just smiled n say nope. that will never happen i guess. n should not happen? maybe.

my fashion design class is ending already. showcase on monday. im the model for my group's design! so so so excited. i know this post is too draggy and all but yeah sorry about tht i had too type all this out. goodnight!

Christina Aguilera - You Lost Me

2012-01-29T18:29:00.003+08:00

emotional shits

2012-01-29T18:29:00.002+08:00

hi...this post basically im just going to rant about my ex and stuff n stupid feelings or whatever shit..so if you dont wanna read abt me bragging dont read ok?

its stupid, its been months and for some reason i just cant get over us. i need to tell myself, enough is enough. no more walking around with my head down. im so over being blue crying over you.

2 months and 9 days after the break up. i feel so fucked up even after 2 months! guess what im currently doing right now? i googled on ways to get over my ex. fucking stupid i swear. but there's no other ways that i can get help from. talking about it to someone, or crying. doesnt helps.

fact is, i dont want to get over him. i guess that is the reason why everything i do aint working. pretend like im okay? hais. dying inside. and another reason why,

is because im still contacting him. he is still keeping in touch with me and i bet its just because he doesnt want us to be strangers. just dont want us to be strangers. nothing more.
im here still loving him. knowing that things will never be the same sucks big time. sucks sucks sucks.

i'd prefer us be strangers rather than me hoping for him to still love me everytime we meet. him giving hopes when he doesnt mean anything at all. hugging me kissing my forehead ugh fucking bullshit. let us be strangers and i'll get over him eventually.

i need to Stop thinking that my happiness entirely depends on another person, specifically my ex. After a break-up, i have to step back and fucking realize that my happiness and my life does not depend on the presence or absence of another person. it depends on me.

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most

2012-01-29T18:00:00.000+08:00

2012-01-29T02:02:00.001+08:00

here are the pictures of the day! i feel tall somehow because of the extra height my shoe is giving me hehehe.

JOURNEY 2

2012-01-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

just got back home. went to catch JOURNEY 2 w erah n yaya<3 ITS A MUST WATCH. i love it. haha. super cool i swear. pictures still with erah i will do a second post later with ze pictures of today.
while i was standing at cineleisure, there's this gal that approched me. she asked me wheter she can snap some pics of me for her fashion blog or something like that. i was a lil shock but i say yes okay.
she took out her cam n this other guy was there too w a cam in his hands. i was like... this is awkward so many people was around n i had to stand there while she snap pics of me. she asked for my particulars n i gave it to her. she will email me when the pics are up. i hope the pics looks okay. oh oh oh n i did meet asrf for awhile. like hais talk for afew minutes only.

***btw i really dont care about who hates me n stuff. talk all you want im trying my best to not give a fuck. between me n my friend, things are okay now. i dont wanna hate her n she's doing the same too. other than that people out there who wanna talk shit about me or my attitude just go ahead. you think you're better than me to talk about my attitude, right? badmouthing is obviously normal for girls we gossip n stuff but for you to talk about my attitude when you dont even know me well is just sick fucking stupid. if you wanna talk about how i look on the outside how skinny i am like an anorexic gal or whatever i can close one eye, well people do judge the book by its cover.

Tonight will be night that i will fall for you, over again

2012-01-23T22:58:00.001+08:00

This will be my second post of the day! Hehe. i went all the way to yishun to meet erah, asrf and ashil. Belanje si captain america, erah, since i got hong bao from my dad:p we then slacked at starbucks. Erah had to go off w her sisters to jb.

And then.. i was dragged along to asrf's family bbq. Not literally dragged la. Haha. Walk there with asrf n ashil. It was nearby northpoint. Segan + malu cuz alot of his aunts and cousins was there. One thing i was worried about the whole time was what kind of impression they had on me. Serious shit im not his girlfriend whatsoever but they sort of know me before hand??? Weird but yeah...maybe cuz im his ex ?? I dont know. Cabbed home. I still need to finish up my homework but so lazy>.<

2012-01-23T13:47:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year! hehe.

i spent my sunday w mum. so many shops closed at jb:( so boring. we had our late lunch at kenny rodgers. i swear i love the food there. oh and we stopped by at this thrift store nearby city square. awesome vintage stuff! it was super hot and then it rained. the weather so weird this few days.

today and tomorrow is a holiday yay! gonna meet asrf later on.

have a nice holiday!:)

2012-01-22T00:24:00.001+08:00

20th marks the second month of me being single. The day of ze break up. But we're still seing each other. Last i met him was during the holidays. So i kinda miss him. Not kinda. I do miss him. Like mad. So i met him yesterday.

Rahim booked out. Met him for lunch and catch up on things. He then went off to skate w his friends and i went to meet asrf. We kinda helped his friend to buy a gift for his gf frm h&m. Im the only girl and its so funny to see how boys shop for clothes. So cute.

No matter how hard i try i just cant. Cant forget him. Physically i might show that i am over it and stuff but mentally no. Dying inside each and everyday day knowing that things wont be the same anymore between us.

There are guys i look at or close to or having crush on or whatever but at the end of the day the one that is on my mind is my ex. Cant deny that i still love him.

Advance chinese new year to the one's celebrating it!!:)

2012-01-09T20:36:00.002+08:00

im at home now currently figuring out what happened to my phone! haha now i dont know i cant turn it on. i tried updating it actually so this is what happened-.-

on saturday, i went out w my mum, janna n her mum. spent my sat w them where i was suppose to actually go out to town. on sunday i went out w my mum too. basically we wanted to eat at beach road. after eating we went to bugis! on sunday itself i had breakfast w mum, went to geylang w her and chinatown.

i guess i had a splendid weekend w mum!

first week of school was, not bad. but maths is fucking hard. haha. coaching starts tomorrow. the only thing im looking forward to is every friday!

here are the pictures taken on saturday!:)

me&my mum

Caramel Band-Tinggal Kenangan (Official Video).mp4

2012-01-03T02:03:00.000+08:00

emo nemo malam malam dgr lagu ni. hahaha

my holiday has ended

2012-01-03T00:20:00.001+08:00

school starts later on and im still not asleep yet. not sleepy sia so used to sleeping late my body clock fucked up already.... earlier today i went out to get some stuffs and went to a&f to finally get a pic w the hot guy!! confirm plus chop mimpi pasal die sia... jejaka idaman tau macam gitu tinggi badan fuiiii! ok lah dream on aje mimpi psl die pun jadi.

not ready for school but oh well......no choice.

ni i look mcm budak kecik eh eh eh

fuiiiiiiii cair man

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLEZ!!

2012-01-01T02:38:00.003+08:00

its 2012! like omg?? it means...school is starting very soon i have only one day left! damn...........i dont have loads of picture to put up in this post but i'll talk about what i did on saturday!

saturday was a very tiring day for me. i had to wake up at 8 for the merit bursary presentation...got back home & in the evening i went out again to meet erah. i had to walk all the way from mbs and yknow esplanade is nearby but we had to walk like way way way longer route just cuz the shorter route was closed which sucks! we then ate at marina square. tht was like a relief we get to finally sit my legs were aching.

to cut it short arnd 10 i think me and erah went to meet Muhaimin suhaimi and his friends...but some of his friends went off to find a better spot. we then had to find his friends....which was kinda hard cuz its super packed and super hot. we were already at the steps we sat down and i liked tht spot i know i'll have a very nice view of the fireworks from there. but no we ddnt stay.......we still had to find his friends. so had to cut through people who were like sitting down and biler dah jumpe............they decided to go to the flyer. we were sweating and tired haha i ddnt mind at all i just wanted a clear view of the fireworks. or atleast a nice view. there wasnt much time. so we walked...and walked....through the fucking crowd. and then we're stuck at the trafic light cuz the fireworks gonna start anytime soon. and yeah at the trafic light it was super close to the float but sadly afew trees blocked the fireworks. still can be seen...but not as satisfying. ITS OKAY AS LONG AS I GET TO CELEBRATE NEW YEAR W GREAT FRIENDS:) maybe abit pissed but im cool now hahaha. here are some of the pictures. my hair was in a mess. sigh.

2011-12-30T19:41:00.001+08:00

so yesterday was uhm...thursday? i went out w erah. and then we met hazim faiz, muhaimin suhaimi, hasif and i dont know who the other guy was:/ hehe. i had a great time with them overall my day was filled w laughter.

we were at town and then we trained to marina bay. after tht me and erah cabbed to yishun. haish the fare was okay but the charge mintak kene sepak tu taxi driver. haha okla not his fault also. i stayed over jannah's place at yishun and went back home in the morning. now im gg to vivo w my mum. okay let the pictures do the talking:) they are not in order btw.

2011-12-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

i wanted to blog like way earlier but then im just too lazy. today i'll blog about what i did to my hair. hahaha.

i wanted to cut my hair for quite some time but i only did it today. i cut off more than half the length of my hair. like...thats alot. haha.

so byebye long hair..

ive had long hair for years. i did trim it but i ddnt cut it short. so i guess its time for a change. haha.

maybe to some people it doesnt look good on me whatsoever, i dont care im happy with it:) it will grow anyway so yeah i dont think about it too much. maybe there will be times that i'll miss my long hair but yeah its okay.

hmm. school is starting soon like very very soon im not ready!

i need school shoes...my dvs shoes, idk what happen to it. wanted to use it for another year but looks like ive destroy it. that shoe is for skate i dont even skate and how come it can happen.

i dont know i think i walk like gajah so ya kasut pun hancur.

i need to do my alterations asap too got no time alreadyyyy.

last week of holidays, i expect more plans but fuck im planless!

2011-12-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

this will be my second post of the day. or third? im just bored. and when im bored i tend to think alot. so when i think alot i wanna type it out. so where do i type it out? obviously here.

i read my previous post and........im fickled minded okay to be honest. today i wanna move on and forget him, the next day i dont want to. i dont understand why i just cant decide what i wanna do. i mean i want both...but that is not possible.

i post that sad song and say i miss you lepas tu next post i say i wanna forget about him then this post i dont want to forget him TAK KE PELIK AKU NI!

i think i know why i keep on changing my mind.....

this is what ive been going through lately: one night he text me... and dont you think that it would make it harder to forget him if he still texts me? so that is when i decide not to forget him...

and then the next night.....he dont text me. and afew other days too he kept silent. that is when i decide to forget him uh duh...

wouldnt you do the same?

after afew days of not texting, he came back and text me again. so cmon..what the fuck am i suppose to do?
its like...oh im bored im gonna text you. and then...uh im lazy and tired from work i'll text you another day. i guess that is gg through his mind? sekejap ade...sekejap takde.

i miss siti nur aisyah. i know you read my blog, go karaoke soon? hehe. i miss erah too she's at jb again today. during my holidays i only meet erah and jannah so i got alot of people that i miss.

2011 ending already okay so my new year's resolution is......uh okay maybe i'll talk about that in my next post cuz i haven figure it out yet...

2011-12-26T20:46:00.001+08:00

right now im listening to songs by an indonesian band, d'masiv....most of the songs i think i can relate to it.

hmm. i dont know what to blog about actually. just feel like blogging.

ive been wanting to cut my hair short for so long but i still have yet to do it. very tempted to cut off my long hair. but.....i like my long hair too. urgh i just cant make up my mind.. oh well hair will grow so i guess cutting my hair short would be okay? maybe..maybe not.

hmm. i think im starting to get over him, i know ive said that before but that ddnt work i went back to my emotional side after awhile but i guess this time...i really am getting over him. well atleast that is what i think. haha.

okay....this week will be my last week of my two months holiday! im so getting used w this easy life no school no homework no uniform and yeah needa wake up back to reality..i bet next year would be a tough one for me more pressure since im taking my nlevels. I FEEL THE PRESURE ALREADY. hahaha nah kidding.

i got not much time to get ready for school. i still need to get some alterations done for my uniform, new shoes and all the necessary stuffs for school. i guess i will be doing that by the end of this week w my mum. very lazy actually i just want to use all the stuff from this year but my mum says im a girl i need to look neat blablablabla honestly i always try to be organised but i end up failing cuz of my lazy attitude.

i guess the only thing to get excited about is my edusave bursary? yeah i want that money asap. its taking too long!! currently watching jumper on channel 5. super bored..

nothing much gg on this few days......i went out w rahim the other day. and went out w my mum yesterday.

i want to tell more in details but then this post is kinda long already hahaha i'll blog again soon!

D'Masiv - Rindu Setengah Mati (Official Video Clip)

2011-12-26T18:42:00.000+08:00

i miss you:(

2011-12-22T05:50:00.001+08:00

Goodmorning!:) its alrd 5 am and im not asleep yet well simply because im staying awake for breakfast later at mac ard 9 w erah and jannah. So im trying not to fall asleep.......today is my first time not sleeping for one day:/ kental kan aku. after breakfast i still need to accompany jannah buy her books and stuff so i'll only sleep when i reach home later:/

Oh and im back to bangs!! Hahaha. Hmm...khai texted me. He bumped into asrf. And they talked......haha oh well still im the one to be blame... despite apologising its still gg to be on me.

I dont like pointing out people's mistakes and i try not to cuz like duh everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a chance if a criminal gets the chance to turn a new leave why dont i get the chance to do the same? Just bloody admit that this all happened cuz feelings faded or youre just tired of me??

I ddnt even intend to hurt anybody. Seriously. But do you think meeting my bestfriend would lead to a break up? Kalau aku suke die dah lamer aku go for die but the fact is i dont and you just cant get that in mind. Cant trust me. For reasons i dont know.

Just doesnt make sense. If you cant commit to a bloody relationship cant handle the hurt cant handle my flaws just dont ever step into my life cuz once you leave.....it will be hard for me to get rid of you totally from my life.

You always take the shortcut, be it being in a r/s or breaking up you always take the easy way.

If you think you dont understand me, think abt yrself. Break up. Dating. And then idk what happened. Youre just as confusing arent you? For once.....see yourself in the mirror and stop looking at me as the bad one.

Honestly ive always kept quite abt certain things and ive never been straightforward cuz i just cant.

I met my bestfriend. You find fault w it. You went clubbing w/o me knowing too and declared that you want me to feel how you felt. Thats not even close to how you felt infact i had to feel thrice or even more hurt than you did so is it fair? Really fair? Revenge is fair? After doing that you decided to end everything so cmon who's hurting who......

I dont want to brag about this but it just bugs me everyday. Its stuck in my mind. ITS FUCKING ANNOYING AND ITS MORE ANNOYING CUZ I KNOW I CANT DO ANYTHING ABT IT!! ITS JUST ANNOYING cuz....i still care and love the person who.....doesnt. Anymore. $&@@!!!
I'll end this post w the sleepover pics

2011-12-20T01:53:00.002+08:00

i went out today and it rained. i only want it to rain when im at home but i hate it when im outside and it rains. it just makes walking around town harder cuz there is hardly any shelter from a shopping centre to another. there's only afew where i can go via underpass but yeah to some other places i had to walk in the rain =.='

today i met leen, her boyfriend and his brother. they both are really funny brothers. haha. went to marina, dhoby ghaut and then somerset. i met afifah for awhile too catch up on things and i went off.

lol tht bangla was stopped by him just to take a picture

sorry leen i ddnt managed to upload all the pics hehe took me way too long too upload all the above ones:p

so yeah that was how i spent my day. later on i guess i'll stay at home and be a good girl do some chores....

hahaha kalau malas tidur aje lah that will do.

nari aku one month single lah seh aa seh...............that was fast.

ya one month blablabla i should have counted my months of being in a r/s not being single.

o.m.g that's not e important part.

i really wish i could invent a time machine and go back to the past and yknow make things right again.

i wouldnt have done what i did. urgh damn it.

guess what ive been doing lately........reading past text messages, past wall posts. everything tht got to do w him.

dah stalk gitu abeh sakit hati sendiri. haha boleh?

stupid sia. hahaha. i shall blog again pretty soon goodnight!

2011-12-19T01:52:00.000+08:00

kinda lazy to blog actually...hehe. earlier today i went out w mum. blablabla and here i am at home.
i wanna go out later but friends not free. how sad......i really hate rotting at home. i'll find a way to go out later! im in the mood to go out...dress up and go for lunch take pics have some gong cha or starbucks... that sounds good to me.
but when im not in the mood to go out i will feel very very very lazy and i just want to sleep all day.

hais............today is 19th. i'll be one month single tmr. org one monthsary aku one month single. hehe.
damn its so overwhelming.....it has never been this hard you know. the fucked up thing about relationship is breaking up.

the only way to move on is to ignore him. which was what i did. but it wasnt a good idea... it made me stressed more when i see him doing absolutely fine without me mcm @#$! i am here thinking about you day and night but you.............................................you decided to end this and then wanted it back just that easy how the fuck am i suppose to react?! its either i go ahead w it or say no.

if i go ahead with it, things will definitely be different. feelings would have probably changed within the break up period. so maybe getting back tgt isnt a good idea.

but if i decided to say no, confirm plus chop i'll be forever sad tht he's no longer in my life and all that shit...i'll have a hard time moving on.

so what exactly am i suppose to do here man i have no idea. people putting the blame on me for what had happened. oh cmon i really ddnt plan this like obviously i ddnt want this to happen. i just wished....things were settled differently and not this way.

i suck. i suck at this. urgh! im getting mad at myself. i hate me.....this wouldnt have happened if it wasnt because of my attitude. see, im blaming myself. know why, cause EVERY SINGLE PERSON I TALK TO blames me. doesnt it kinda makes me feel worse? try being in my shoes for once and feel me. its like the world is agaisnt you i just feel like im so alone when im not.

i was about to move on but i just had to bumped into you huh? urgh which makes me fall for you all over again dammit

school starting soon....im so not ready. not prepared at all. i dont want to go to school..................
rahim called me again. glad he's doing fine. i told him im okay already i aint sad anymore about which is a lie hahaha........i just dont want him to nag at me like what he used to do. hahaha.

i said i was lazy to blog but look at what i typed out hahahaha. im just an emotional gal ok goodnight!

2011-12-17T00:39:00.000+08:00

hello to the people who reads my blog! hehe. thanks for stopping by...but i hope you dont hate me for whatever i write here okie:) this is me and i blog about my daily life...i rant about alot of stuff. so ya if you dont like anything about me, dont read!

we just gotta avoid this hatred feeling. it wont do you any good either. hatred just shows how envious you are of a particular person. well i did came across this kinda hatred feeling before, but you know its not worth your time. being grateful of whatever we have is better than comparing to others. that will in the end lead to the feeling that everything we have right now is not enough. having said that, envy/jealousy is not the only reason that leads to hatred. there are other reasonable things tht may lead you to hate someone. so what im trynna say here is just stop hating ok!:)

i'll talk about what i did today. just like a normal day out, went to eat at habourfront. and then shopped at vivo! trynna make my wadrobe full of dark colours:p i tried revlon's red lipstick and personally i like revlon. i love the matte lipstick. so what i got today was a dark maroon- purplish matte lipstick, i tried it on and im so in love with it!

the colour of this lipstick is 'wine not'

haha how cute...if you're like me, you dont like glossy, glittery lipstick you can opt for revlon's line of matte lipstick. obviously not all girls go for dark colours it has red, nude. i tried m.a.c's honey love lipstick and its almost the same. you can get this for 17 bucks. hehe.

i love the colour so much so i just had to share about this!

rahim finally called me just now. gg out with him on a saturday. will get to see his botak head. haha.

i misss my bestfriend. but nvm he'll book out soon.

just now i bumped into asrf. i showed that i ddnt care. but inside actually i am happy tht i get to see him. i just dont like it when he's sometimes there and then sometimes he's not. it just makes me feel........idk..

maybe single is the best for now. no commitments no heartbreaks............and no one to love.,no one to hug, no one to care about 24/7, no one to text you w a goodmorning and goodnight text:(

being in relationship can be very easy if there's just this simple trust for each other.

2011-12-16T01:42:00.001+08:00

its like finally i decided to customize my blog. im just too lazy to do it. and i guess i like the way it turn out to be. black and white. yeah thats how i like it. i love black fyi. its my go to colour right now. if not black, definitely red. or other dark colours. im not pinky pinky princess anymore. hahaha. i like it dark i dont like it suttle and bright. talking about bright, i had to wear a bright orange top just now. i hated the colour but i had to wear it. my mum picked out the outfit i wore when im out w asy. bright huh? just not my colour. sorry if my blog is kinda dull due to the black and white. and the font is kinda small too. i am sorry but i aint changing it any sooner cuz i like it.

too lazy to bring along my bulky cam i brought my digital camera instead. haha which is more convenient since its lighweight.

i went out with erah the previous day to do some shopping. and it was great. plus tiring.

2011-12-10T19:47:00.003+08:00

today is a saturday and here i am blogging at home.
firstly, im sick. down with slight fever, sore throat and runny nose. i feel so tired and i just wanna lie down on my bed....
secondly, i slept over erah's place last night and i went home in the afternoon so i got no time to go out.

smoking and eating garret's caramel popcorn just make my throat hurts more and my voice sucks when i wake up due to that.
movie marathon w erah last night...till 5am. it wasnt cold at all but i was covering myself with a blanket. being sick sucks. whatever i chew is tastless right now.
lucky i had no trouble sleeping.

haha. oh and i bought some canvas drawings...or printed out pics...idk what it is. but yaa i planned to put it up on my bedroom wall. i hope it will look abit vintage.

i actually got plans today and tmr but i had to let the guys down cuz im sick. sorry boys.
i think i will only go out on tuesday. which will be w asy. we actually planned to eat ice cream, yoghurt, anything that's sweet, so i hope i got alot of space in my tummy. haha.

rahim will book out in two weeks time. on th 23. so i guess i'll meet him before 26.

lastly, im trying to not get my hopes high. i know im not as important to him, im not his priority anymore. that is why he's treating me this way. i know where i stand.
but his actions just shows tht he is not interested anymore which is making me so fucking confused i have no idea what exactly he wants.
so now im not replying him. whats the point of replying anyway.

this post is getting kinda....long. haha. here are some of the pics i took when i was in jb w erah.

2011-12-06T00:34:00.002+08:00

We went to eat at swensen's....and then meet asrf for awhile he was having his break. After tht trained to bugis for sheeshaaaaa. Charles know the owner of the shop so ya.....
Hope she liked what me and charles bought her. Hehe. Gg off to jb w her. staying over there and will be back on weds. Ignore some stupid faces hehe i hate how i looked today. Happy advance birthday erah bby love you muahhhhh<3<3

2011-12-05T23:44:00.002+08:00

Half of me wants to move on and the othr half doesnt want to. Hahaha. No la. My mind tells me to move on but my heart cant do it cuz feelings for him is still strong despite gg through breaking up and stuufff.

Cant anybody see it??? Cant anybody understand that i just cant do it. Ya you guys can easily tell me there's other guys out there i should move on. But i cant open up my heart to anybody else.

The reason i should move on is.......1) he's doing fine without me. 2) he can get me replaced anytime. 3) tempat kerje die banyak chicks. Hahahaha okok joking. 4) i got the feeling tht he doenst love me anymore. 5) when he texts me its like mcm nak taknak. 6) he doesnt want to be in a relationship anyway.

Reason why i shouldnt move on is........1) i still love him. 2) i still love him. 3) i still love him. 4) i still love him. 5) Everday without fail i think of him. 6) i dont see any guy that can replace him. Or maybe haven found one yet??

See, both got equal reasons hahahahaha! So ya that makes me kinda yknow confused whether i should let go or not.

Falling in love is easy. Falling out of love is hard. FUCKING HARD OK

2011-12-04T23:14:00.003+08:00

hmmmm im not blogging using my laptop so i cant really edit how the words look like. so it will look like an essay i guess. haha. reason im blogging is just cuz im feeling kinda sad, confused. whenever i talk about it to someone i dont think they undedrstand what exactly my problem is. so yeah i just think i should blog about it.

im really confused. my ex wants us to be in a state where we are dating. to him there's nothing wrong with it. atfirst i think there's nothing wrong with it either...but my friend said why break up in the first place when you guys still wanna date each other and why you guys are dating again when you guys have been in a relationship together before. so i told her tht my ex doesnt want to be in relationship that is the reason why we are in this state. but hello, fikir senang senang gitu pe skejap date skejap matair skejap break up abeh date lagi. huh??!!

he just take things super lightly. i cant get over him so he can easily turn to me when he needs me but when he dont need me he's nowhere to be found no text at all no calls noting. i dont know what to do lah. maybe i shouldnt response to him when he suddenly need me. seriously make up your mind what you really want. i can just forget everything, forget us, you and whatever we did but i dont want to but when it reached to the point where i cant take this anymore i'll just erase everything plus you!

i miss us really. hais. rindu ade boyfriend tau tak. see lah malam malam gini selalu fikir pasal die why oh why....

even when i meet him its not the same anymore. he's not the same anymore. and we will never be the same again.

when i meet the right guy thats when i'll get over him.

will blog again soon. xoxo

2011-12-03T14:11:00.000+08:00

Hais. Mcm sedih gitu lagu ni. Haha. Today stay home:(

2011-12-03T02:05:00.001+08:00

Hi im such a happy girl today. Hehe. Because.....i met asrf. Atfirst i walked past him and i was like, hmmmm lets just ignore and act like i dont give a damn. After that i freaked out i asked erah omg what should i do. Hahaha soooo i ended up meeting him for awhile. He was having his break. Funny part was i got some of my red lipstick on his shirt lol. Idk i was just super happy to meet him.

2011-11-30T03:24:00.001+08:00

im at jannah's place now and im so bored.

today i accompanied jannah to buy a documentary book on onedirection.

she's a fan ah hahaha.

i miss amirul asrf

hahaha can?

hais. hais.hais.

i dont get it why is it so hard for me but so easy for him.

or mmg lelaki mcm gtu huh?

hahaha ntah lah eh.

hari hari tidur lambat tak healthy lah but i just cant sleep early like i used to -.-

it feels so different....someone who used to be there for you everyday now is nowhere close to you omg sedih nya hahahaha emotional seh aku ape ni

people ask me to move on but i dont think i wanna do that okay maybe not now i just dont want to lah

he tweeted to me i was happy for a moment but thinking back maybe he alrd got someone else in mind so i dont wanna get my hopes high and i replied him like im lazy to talk to him.

haha. bodoh kan aku. oh wellllll.

i walked past a guy at town just now and he smells like asrf idk was it just me or he really wears the same perfume.

i said before i'll get used to this single life and im still not getting used to it but whatever la who cares anyway

im getting hungry gg to get smth to eat byebye

2011-11-26T02:58:00.000+08:00

hi we're still not asleep yet.....slalu cant sleep cuz im sad tonight i cant sleep cuz im happyyyy

hehehehe overly excited lah

i got a text like suprisingly and ohh you dont wanna know how i reacted. hahaha

ok ok ok ok happy gal

2011-11-25T16:42:00.000+08:00

Rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu.rindu

hais hais:'(

gg off to jannah's place now.

2011-11-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

THIS WILL BE A SUPER LONG POST CUZ IM BLOGGING ABOUT WHAT I DID FOR THIS WEEK HEHE.

okay...so whats first.

hmm.

i went out with jannah, and we both met rahim. they two are just crazy boleh duduk satu rumah they mengumpat on jan's itouch and taknak tunjuk i geez.

ok sooo this pro skater nak serve ns in two weeks time botak sooonnnn no more long hair hahahaha

going to miss his crappy texts

and random meet ups and stuffs.

hahaha hais:')

okay and thennnnn jan slept over at my place...watch alamak toyol. hahah cute toyol

okla baju spongebob sigh i just felt like wearing it to sleep k haha

next day met khai or known as ann hahahaha he is me primary school friend

oh and my camera idk somehow cant take pics ugrh frustrating giler

so ya depended on his iphone 4

i went off to meet erah, charles and danish after that.

erah needs to find stuffs for her daddy's birthday which is today...and we went to eat after tht.

for the past few days i tried to get myself occupied gg out and stuff cuz you tend to get emotional when youre alone ykno:>

and im avoiding tht.

so ya finally done w this post penat sia hahaha okie nights

2011-11-23T01:19:00.001+08:00

just got the bbq photos.

hehe these girls made my day.

the bbq was kinda boring but i still had fun though.

slept late for the past two days, plus today. and maybe for the rest of this week.

just cant stop thinking about it. but i really cant do anything.

being sad sucks but why act youre okay when youre not?

eventually i'll learn to let go.

i will be fine soon:>

hope so...

2011-11-22T01:09:00.000+08:00

okay no!!!!

i cant stop blogging.

i love you bloggy

hahahaha the fuck

2011-11-22T01:07:00.000+08:00

hi. uhm. still considering wheter i should continue blogging or not.

cuz, i really got nothing to blog about anymore.

no not that.

i dont know.

sigh.

sigh

ok lah !@#$%^&*(!!!!

i just still cant get over the fact th im single haahahahahahaha ok thats not funny.

hmmm. hmm. hmmmm?

oh ya, thanks for the encouragement that i get from people around me, although i ddnt feel any better i appreciate it though hahaha

why am i typing hahahaha when its not even funny?! urgh fucking sick gal

time to move on bitch!!!!

okay not now.

not yet

soon..........

i look depressed .

im not okay im not

im absolutely fine

sleeping at 4 and waking up at 7 oh is totally fine.....................

sigh nooooooooo sejak biler aku gini

okay lah this is stupid

i dont want to go out. i dont want to eat. i just want to lock myself in my room

does that sounds okay?

hmm whatever

goodbye cruel world

ha ha step cruel world je.

ok bye

2011-11-21T00:59:00.000+08:00

i went out to get some makeup stuffs today with jannah.

and met erah and charles and danish after that.

i cried in the middle of town which ruined my make up urgh oh well......

i tried to show i dont give a fuck when i texted but deep down..................................

i just want you to know you deserve the best.

well nothing last forever right?

i guess youre better off without me.

now you wont have to skip your matches and get nothing in return for that.

you wont get hurt anymore by my fucked up attitude.

haha i suck:'(

you'll find someone who supports you in what you do soon i know pretty soon:)

im truly very sorry for everything that caused you to get hurt. i know i already apologised but i just feel bad. sorry:(

what he's cousin tweeted made me feel way worse. sigh.

well its her twitter anyway she got the rights.

im still stunned.

but i'll get over it right? maybe not now but i will.

okay this is starting to get emotional the fuckkkkkk i shall stop he doesnt even seem to care hahaha i just need to type all this out okay not necessary to read this.

i ignored calls and text messages i just dont feel like talking to anybody.

i got a bbq to attend tmr i dont feel like going but i have to. hmm i cant sleep so i'll find something else to do right now hehe toodles......

2011-11-19T01:20:00.000+08:00

i will post about what i did just now tomorrow cuz for now im just lazy to post the pics.

sigh.

i know im at fault. i think telling me my mistake will work out better than what you did yesterday?

like seriously i have no idea what i did wrong only until tonight.so ya think keeping quiet ignoring me will solve it?

i think if i ddnt call you would continue what yre doing right.

i know youre angry, so thts why you kept silent. keeping silent for two days? thts just too much. aku dh mcm org gila sia i have feelings too you get mad i can get mad too.

im really tired of this. really. cant believe this is how you want to solve a problem.

nak ignore aku for one week pun takpe

i do alot of mistakes thts how i am, cant accpt it? someone else will.

James Morrison - I Won't Let You Go

2011-11-17T17:02:00.000+08:00

i wont ever get tired listening to this song.

2011-11-17T01:40:00.008+08:00

finally updating my bloggy todayy!

hehehe well been kinda busyyyy lately hahaha no lah not so busy just ddnt have the chance to blog hmm kirekan busy lah tu but not so busy hahahahaha i like making it more confusing.

so ya what i did on monday was i went over to erah's place....

watched paranormal activity..which caused me some problems sleeping!

and watched the last song...seriously touching till me and erah cried.

kinda suprising for erah to cry cuz she's not emotional at all hahaha.
and yeah sleepover till tuesday.

and then today went to town......................................i met rahim aka akim hahaha.

and then went to 313 after tht walked to istana park.

ketawe sampai gini lol

so ya as you can see we did stupid stuffss like rahim trying to lick the water frm the pool and laughing like mad girl and all tht and yeah tht wraps up mua post blog again when i have the time tooodlessssssssssss

3 days KL trip

2011-11-12T02:09:00.002+08:00

hehe ddnt blog for three days which means....this will be a long post i guess.

gonna blog about mua awesome kl trip with my mum and jannah.

im not gonna upload all the pictures cuz....uploading is just too slow.

first day basically was just the journey frm sg to KL.

we reached kl around 9 i think?

went to this night market called downtown.but the stalls only opens at 10 or 11 pm somewhere arnd there.

second day...jalan jalan ah obviously lazy wanna elaborate hahaha.

my fav fav drink hehehe

third day! hehehe our train was delayed for an hour so ya we walked arnd kl central eat eat and eat.

train ride was super duper cold at night cannot tahan leh sampai pakai dua jacket hahaha overall i had a great time although it was only three days.

im gg to kl again in january, my cousin is getting married! hehe best tgk org kahwin lol.

so nak katekn ni summed up post of kl, its not really summed up its quite long but then its not really in details.

hahaha ok whatever xoxo

2011-11-08T23:53:00.000+08:00

still not done packing....i just dont know what clothes to bring lahhh k.

off to KL tmr hehe for 3 days!

im so excited.

okay need to get some sleep. goodnight xoxo

2011-11-08T00:04:00.001+08:00

got back from batam last night.

too tired to blog so yeah im only blogging today.

batam wasnt so bad. but the weather was way worse than sg, super hot hot hot.

ate at A&W and pizza hut both bad service seriously

haish. uploading of pics just took too long so i uploaded just afew.

going to KL with my mum and jannah this weds. 3days.

hehehe cant wait!

2011-11-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

today. i feel broke. just on afew clothing and money's gone like that.

now dying my hair with jannah. dont know how it will turn like.

hope the colour would atleast come out. hehe.

shopped at far east. ate pastamania. drank starbucks. met bf at taka. met rahim after tht.

and now at jannah's place.

okay so im gg to batam tmr i think it would be better to follow my mum hekhek.

next week will be a busy week for me.

love my bf.

xoxo

JoJo - Disaster

2011-11-03T18:24:00.000+08:00

2011-11-03T18:23:00.001+08:00

now playing-man down

sigh bored bored bored. how boring can my life get.

home alone. currently watching videos on youtube,

i like to watch tutorials but i rarely...do those stuff e.g make up tutorials

i got a text yesterday and it kinda make me realise maybe all this while im just wasting my time?

i dont know.

i should just ignore the text. but i keep on thinking about it........geez

BUT YEAH SERIOUSLY I AM WASTING MY TIME FUCK AFTER SO LONG SEKARANG BARU SEDAR. sigh.

i dont know why i buy the stuffs but im keeping it, ive been wanting to give it but....whats the point? i wont be appreciated. ive never been appreciated. taken for granted i guess.

2011-11-02T23:46:00.003+08:00

mua webcam makes me look flawless when im not!

my room is such a mess. clothing rack pun tk organised. well cuz im a lazy lazy gal.....

my ceiling looks awkward...its the only white section.

i kinda think my room is too pinky.

but whatever i love pink.

i really need to clean up my room soon.

soooooooooo just now i went to yishun. all the way from my place. to have lunch w jannah and her mum.

after that......walked around northpoint. usually i dont shop at northpoint simply because its boring,

but just now.....i just cant resist the temptation of spending money.

padahal dad bagi card to pay my phone bill i use it to buy my stuffs instead.

rase bersalah pulak.....hahaha.

in the afternoon i met boyfriend. he was like....half an hour late? haish.

but whatever. teman die makan and stuff and then talk crap blablabla.....played this game on his phone. got to do with soccer geez i dont understand at all!

sigh miss him already. and his smell. everything lah k.

erah is already at vietnam! hehe glad she reached there safely. looking forward for her to come back this sat.

friday my mum is gg to batam. me? nah not following, gg out w jannah and thennnnnn stay over her place....

so im tiredz gg to bed now.

hehe goodnight:p

2011-11-01T19:18:00.002+08:00

so.........what do i do when im bored? this^

haish holidays are killing me. bored bored bored. i only have plans on weekends.

wtf am i suppose to do during weekdays?

i only went out to eat lunch today and...thats all.

sigh. bf's schooling...tht means i really got nothing to do.

i hope i'll be gg out tmr.

2011-10-30T09:50:00.002+08:00

Currently working with erah right now and im very sleepy only had four hours of sleep. Hmmm well obviously sleepovers are keeping us away from sleeping at 3 am we still searched for food lol.
Will do a proper post later when im back frm work.

2011-10-29T00:05:00.002+08:00

in time was awesome. i think its like...the only movie ive watched tht made me so engrossed for the whole time. some movie yknow like got boring parts and stuff alot of talking but this movie nooooo hehehe so this is a must to watch. i wanna watch footlose too.

before the movie we went to eat at pastamania.

since jannah's bday is...around the corner, movie and food is on me and erah

hehe happy advance bday janjan<3

mcm dah lamer tk makan pastamania gitu. headed to town after the movie....

frolick is a must^^ never fail to eat frolick almost every week lol okay well not every week, only when we go out to town..

hmmm. then i met bf hehehehe happy gurla but for awhile only followed him and his friendssss to play pool and then i went off to meet jannah and erah cuz she needs to be home.

me and jan had to wait for more than half an hour for a bloody bus haish

so now she's at my place. tmr gg to have breakfast at tiong bahru plaza and then head to expo for work.

besok kerje but still not asleep now geez

urgh what low quality webcam i have.

update again soon xoxo

forever sad girl lah

2011-10-27T14:52:00.001+08:00

now i know how much it hurts. hurts alot. sigh. well you'll have to put yourself in other people's shoes in order to understand how they feel right.

what you did just made me....made me realise my mistake.

i just feel like i wanna avoid people.

sigh.

i miss asrf. alot. hmm. things arent the same anymore:/

its okay. i know i can deal with it.

:'(

Joe Jonas - Just In Love

2011-10-27T02:05:00.002+08:00

2011-10-27T00:19:00.003+08:00

at jannah's place now...just now i met jannah and her mum and we had our late lunch.

so since vivo is just a walk away from the foodcourt,we went to vivo.

shop for some stuffs and yeah took pics at rooftop. but then it rained:/

haish. am i really that bad? not good enough? or am i not appreciated? or....im not treating people right around me? haish cause people are having doubts for me urgh i have no bad intentions but why why why people are thinking negatively haish.

life is just complicating. why? cause i need to please people around me, jage hati dorang, so that i wont hurt them and they wont leave me, but at the same time i have to put aside my own feelings for them and it just isnt fair.so when im tired doing all this stuff for people i just.....act like i dont care and stuff..which makes things worse actually haish. im confused. confused with myself. i dont know what i should do. buat ni salah, tu salah, abeh nak buat ape omg?!

i miss boyfriend. sigh.

going out w erah,fyra and jannah on friday i love them<3

hmmm why is it tht i always feel sad?

2011-10-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

excuse the.....winnie the pooh pillows and stuff thts my sofa bed lol

love love love the minty colour nail polish.

going out with jannah and her mummy now. and then stay over her place like finally.

most importantly right now is to eat im hungry.

JLS - Take A Chance On Me

2011-10-25T10:05:00.001+08:00

currently in school now doing some bloody survey sigh seriously a waste of time.

school is extended to another week. wtf?! okay im totally gonna mia from school.

today will be my last day of school:>

report book will be released on friday. i dont care lol gonna collect it during the holidays i guess well if that is even possible.

merepek kan extend another week. attendance are already keyed in the result slip so what for i go to school. okay gonna have my recess soon toodles:p

2011-10-24T21:45:00.002+08:00

had lunch w mum today......her mood was...wierd. tibe tibe only ajak me out to eat hehehehe.

yessa last week of school. after tmr i dont think i wanna go to school. weds also no school. left two days after that alah takpayah pergi sudah......

i guess will be dying my hair on my own diy lah eh......will ask jannah to help me with it.

few months back during the june holidays i went to the saloon and got my hair dyed dark red whoop turns out to be darker than i thought sigh tak gune betul.

will be working with erah this saturday and sunday at expo under propnex
haish there goes my weekend....

but its okay pay will be given per day.

kinda far from my house though hmmmmmmmmmmm.

recover soon jannah<3

2011-10-23T21:38:00.006+08:00

yay i finally met leen after so long. she's still the pretty leen i know.

i felt better today and im in a happy mood but my mum just had to spoil it i dont understand why.

must i go through this state everyday at home omg i need my dad to be home right now but where is he??????

i really need to stay over jannah's place soon like pretty soon i hate this fcking place
but problem is she's sick haish
i thought things were getting better for me

for once cant things be easy for me im tired really tired gg through all this shit i need a break mum come on

haish i haven eat my dinner looks like im not gonna have it sigh lost my appetite

yknow what, im such a failure everything just isnt right about me be it in my family relationship friendship or whatever bloody ship
fuck.my.life.

haish i miss amirul asyrf

FreeSol - Role Model ft. Justin Timberlake

2011-10-23T21:02:00.000+08:00

2011-10-23T00:11:00.005+08:00

went out w erah today. jannah was really sick so yeah she stayed at home...wanted to go back to her place but she's unwell so i guess i'll go over when she recovers.

i got pretty bad blisters wearing my dr martens today i guess cuz i ddnt break them in. plus my socks were not covered enough. i took em off for awhile in the evening cuz i couldnt bear the pain hahahaha! planning to buy one of the socks by dr martens i saw today at wheelock. it looks comfy....and cute.

had lunch at popeyes and went to get starbucks at ion. we got a free drink from one of the guy working there hahahaha:p
so.......walk all the way to cineleisure. i guess that's when my blisters got worse. wanted to meet bf but he was just taking to long to travel from his place to town.
urgh so i headed home.
i hate waiting like seriously so yeah i ddnt wait.
i wished there would be a day where he could meet me way earlier so time spent would be more but nah never happened always late.

ddnt do much today. we got a spot and camwhore so here are some of the pics:>

Hot Chelle Rae - I Like It Like That

2011-10-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

2011-10-21T18:00:00.001+08:00

tmr....will be going out with erah and jannah. like finally its end of the week.

i ddnt go to school but i feel so tired. i dont know why. so the whole of today ive been on my bed.

haish. too lazy to do anything.

hmmmmmmm gg get starbuck's caramel hot choc tmr hehehe current fav drink.

i woke up realising i got a call from fyra. she told me that my name WASNT in the list of people who passed and wouldnt have to go thru the promotion meeting.

totally panicking in my room at that moment so i asked fyra to double check with my form teacher.

got another call and she was laughing she said i will get promoted. haish i think that period of time while waiting for her call was the worst minutes of my life ever. hahaha cant imagine me retaining geez where to put my face sia. lol.

hmmmm i feel guilty. haish really i ddnt mean to show attitude but yknow emotions took over and yeah i was so down even the way i treat people is just....just isnt right:/

feeling much better

2011-10-20T20:21:00.001+08:00

today, attended a talk at nanyang poly.....i realise now i need to work really hard to get a place in a poly..but im just not hardworking yknow...

for my batch, there's this scheme its called the... i forgot. but its like thru-train.

i just need to take my nlevels and i can continue my studies in poly but provided i meet the minimum criteria.

the criteria is freaking hard. looking at my results now...dont think i can make it.

11 points and below? oh god. plus need to pass english..maths..and 3 othr best subj.

theyre giving us easier path but theyre making us work the extra mile in order to be eligible for the scheme cuz there's only limited spots.

but on the bright side competition will only be among the acad students.

met rahim..he came to yishun to meet me after school.

felt like i havent met him for a decade. lol. so i let everything out. everything.

felt stupid to cry actually.

but he said if he were in my position most probably he'll feel the same way.

he reads my blog too. my pretty bad eyebags just shows how restless i am. he told me not to do this kinda stuff for people who just doesnt worth my time.

before gg off he told me to eat....

he said im getting skinnier...and my eyebags are bad.. obviously due to my lack of sleep and not eating

really appreciate him coming over to yishun just to listen to my stories and cheer me up with his childish-ness.

he advised me to talk to my mum....but.....not brave enough.

maybe i will but... will just wait for the right time.

tomorrow will declare my own holiday...lazy to go to school. i bet there's ntg much to do at school.

gonna eat now bye people xoxo

much misses

2011-10-19T23:42:00.003+08:00

will start off with my results. i guess my results was okay. just failed my maths. sigh. the other subjects that i passed my marks was just average so was not so satisfied.

tmr will be gg to nanyang poly for some talk. i took the talk on health science i guess? or was it something to do with chemical i dont know dont care.

oh and will be meeting rahim for lunch tmr. glad he could make some time to meet me. so...he'll be having lunch w me somwhere in yishun haven decided yet.

leen. my bestfriend tht ive been wanting to meet but still haven got the chance to meet her. really miss her. last i meet her was bfore june i guess.

everything just changes so fast around you. today she might be my closest friend the next minute she can just turn into a complete stranger like how she is now.

suprisingly, i really miss my dad. its very hard to see him at home lately.

he only came back home tonight.

i received a text from him just now. trying so hard to contain my tears, i ddnt want to cry infront of my mum.

my mum and dad arent in good terms for some reason. theyre not even talking. its like each of us in the house is doing our own thing. now home is just like a shelter, just a place to eat, rest and sleep. no more watching tv tgt, we dont even eat dinner tgt. i just dont know.....whats happening to us. theyre busy working. and i get home from sch with nothing to look forward to at home but sleep.

lately my mum likes to throw tantrums at me when she's tired or mad. anger doesnt built up in me when she does that... instead its more of sadness. but no matter what i still love her.

im hoping for things to get better.

lastly, i miss the old me. i know im not the same but for now im gonna stay this way.

so if you read this post, i think you'd get a hint why ive been posting kinda sadly recently............

there's more to it but i'll keep it personal

oh lastly, i miss boyfriend. time for me to sleep i have sch tmr. sigh. blog tmr xoxo

Justin Bieber - Mistletoe (Trailer)

2011-10-18T21:56:00.002+08:00

justin bieber is just too charming. been a long time since i was so crazy over him haish luv you bieber

2011-10-18T20:08:00.002+08:00

the only time where i can smile is in school. maybe half of the time...its just fake.

the only person i can seek advice from is aisyah.

so this was just now in school.

uh me without make up sigh:/

and another person i can open up to and comfortable with is rahim my so called bestfriend tapi somehow dah menghilang semenjak.....yknow im busy with my own stuff and he's busy working

i know i wont be able to meet him uh okay forget it

i guess the trip to spore river wasnt so bad.

the only thing i had for today was a grande cup of caramel hot choc from starbucks. that was considered my breakfast. sigh the rest had burger king i just had no appetite to eat

ddnt eat lunch. dinner, not yet.

my stomach was hurting in the aternoon but i just ignored and went to bed.

maybe i'll have my late dinner most probably being forced by my mum to eat.

will get my results tmr. i dont know what to expect really.

fyi trying to make me feel better is truly appreciated but if its from someone else and not you it aint coming from your heart so just shut.

just need to endure for another week or so till holiday starts and yeah man freedom. i will sleep like there's no tmr or better still not even wake up.

i dont like being the only child. they give me what i want...but not happiness so whats the point. my family bonding is just............uh dont wanna talk about it.

now waiting for someone to get home so i wont feel as lonely hello semue busy no time at home.

will blog later? or maybe tmr. xoxo

2011-10-18T06:31:00.000+08:00

Dragging myself to school......
Pagi pagi dah gaduh haish what a way to start my morning.
Will b gg spore river today-.-
Ddnt charge my cam hope it can last till end of the day if not atleast till the end of the trip.
I know things will get better for me, maybe not now but soon. Think positive everyday xoxo

I feel like I'm on top of the world with your love

2011-10-17T21:54:00.000+08:00

Gonna be another sleepless night. I'll look like im on drugs or even look like a zombie if i continue this way. Sigh. Goodnight

2011-10-17T20:23:00.000+08:00

there's no reason for me to smile anymore.

im just thinking too negatively i dont know why, is my brain malfunctioning or something that i cant think happy thoughts? i think i can even breakdown anytime if im alone.

like, in the train? while walking? that is how intense my hatred for myself is.

geez.

a friend said to me, in order for people to love me, i need to learn to love myself.

she's right.

problem is i cant find anything about myself that is lovable.

i cant even love myself how about people around me?

i suck at evrythng i do.

dad gave me my allowance this morning gonna go shopping with jannah this saturday.

my dad always secretly give it to me cause my mum would want me to save instead of spending it. she just nags way too much.

sigh. why would i share my problems with you? you wont be able to help. i bet the only thing you can do is make me feel better and say smth like' chill babe, evrything will be fine. im here."

thats all? id rather not tell. even if you mean everything to me, i wont share cause it wont make any difference.

lagipun, bende yg aku bilang step kau ingat je?

really nervous to get my results. i know i wont do well for this exam.

my school is just so biased. normal acad students will be going to the singapore river while express will visit the zoo. ade ape kat spore river? tgk ikan? swim? hmmm ade ikan ke? geez pathetic.

i miss gg to asy's house on friday's after school to play guitar hero.

well, org kalau dah ade kawan baru lupe kawan lamer right?

i dont know wheter i should go to school tmr.....

no appetite to eat.

dah kurus taknak makan lamer lamer anorexic lol

looking forward to this sat. blog again tmr xoxo

2011-10-17T11:14:00.000+08:00

" have you ever feel so fucked up? felt that life wasnt fair to you? that yre always to be blame. you kept feeling down and end up crying yourself to sleep? you felt that yre alone though yre surrounded by thousands of people. when you wish that life would be simpler and you wish that you could run away where nobody will find you"

thats how im feeling right now.

sigh.

what a life i have. i may look happy on the outside but on the inside my feelings are fucked up.

gg to school soon for the damn uniform sizing. fuck my cca.

you dont know a thing about me

2011-10-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

2011-10-16T15:38:00.000+08:00

currently at jannah's place. ate mac for lunch. wow so humid i cannot take the heat. please rain soon.

gonna watch bini biniku gangster hehehe.

there's no school tmr. but there's uniform sizing. why cca why must you ruin my life?! org holiday aku kene g skola fml lah. thought of not gg but... i need a new skirt. will consider tgk mood lah besok eh.....

haish really sick and tired of fighting, arguing.

"women deserve more respect, they don’t give up on relationships like guys do"

so, i shouldnt give up. right? yeah. i guess so.

cant wait for holidays. i hate schoooooooool. okay wanna watch bini biniku gangster now.

2011-10-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

awesome black pepper chicken rice\m/

okay so had my lunch with aisyah...instead of gg to amk to replace my ezlink, we headed to town.........

just to have our karaoke session at cuppage. really last minute. hahaha too lazy to go to amk. i totally forgot abt my koi haish.

only the both of us...we had to pay for the price of three cause well the package is like that. session was 3 hours. aisyah takut nak nyanyi lagu umbrella dia kate illuminati-.- hahaha.

went to cine for awhile after that...cine and scape smakin lame smakin semak ah rimas rimas rimas biler pergi sane.

had a great time w aisyah. she can sing very well hehehe.

will be alone at home tmr again. maybe will be gg to jannah's place anrd 12 and head home in the afternoon.

OH YA EXAMS ARE OVER YAY!

here are the pics.

pucat nya bibir haish.gg to bed now blog again soon xoxo

2011-10-15T14:18:00.000+08:00

going to meet aisyah now! and have our lunch. damn hungry sigh. ddnt eat my breakfast. oh and not enough sleep. hope today will be a better day for me. xoxo

How to keep your girlfriend happy

2011-10-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

1. Little things mean the most. Seriously. A simple “good morning” text will start her day off right and a random “I love you” will keep her smiling throughout the day.

2. You’ve got her, now keep her. Just because she’s yours now, doesn’t mean she’ll stay with you because of the things you used to do. Don’t let your love die down, keep it interesting!

3. Dates. You don’t need to spend money. You’d be surprised how cute making lunch together and having a picnic could be. Or maybe going for a bike ride. Of course just hanging out at your house can be fun, but going outside is a nice change!

4. She’s your girlfriend, not your homeboy. So when you’re with your boys, don’t treat her like one. Of course you can still be normal with them, because what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t love you for who you were? Just make sure you make her presence known! Hold her hand, kiss her cheek! Your boys won’t think any less of you if you do.

5. When she’s mad. Talk it out. Don’t go chasing after her if she’s being unreasonable about something. But if she presents a legitimate reason, don’t make her feel bad about her feelings. Don’t yell. Put on your big boy pants and talk about it. The only thing that will do is help your relationship getbetter.

6. One & Only. Don’t let her tell you which girls you can talk to. (Maybe an ex is the only exception to that rule.) Otherwise, that’s unreasonable. Don’t ditch your girl friends for her. You had a life before her, don’t lose that. But if she is jealous, assure her that she has no reason to be jealous. She is your one and only. If you wanted to be with someone else, you would be. But you chose her and stayed with her for a reason.

7. Keep it 100% honest. Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. It’ll just cause both of you heartache. You don’t want to see her upset and she will never be able to look at you the same. If you’re going to lie and cheat, you obviously can’t handle a relationship. So don’t be in one.

8. Love her. Love her for who she truly is. Let her be weird around you. Don’t judge her. Treat her like she’s your world. Let yourself be her world.

(Source: illauren)

imma zombie now

2011-10-09T13:26:00.000+08:00

slept at 7 plus in the morning. and im already awake sigh not enuf sleep. jan's not awake yet...im gg to get ready and stuff. to meet my mum at ikea. long journey from yishun....but nvm .jan's mum cooked macaroni for breakfast yumzzz. Bf calls me ms. Tak tahu cuz i always reply him tak tau like the nyonya kat k nite hahaha. will blog again when i get back from ikea bye xoxo

windu boyfwen( no link to my post hehe)

2011-10-09T04:11:00.000+08:00

woke up and nobody was at home. just me and jannah.. breakfast was bread and ice cream hahaha. headed to jurong and had our lunch. BAD BAD BAD SERVICE seriously.... i dont rmbr the name of the place.

and then we went to IMM. i love the Daiso outlet there its super huge. me and jan went to check out every section from health and beauty to stationaries and stuff. i bought some things which i dont really need but i just had to buy..just like this hair set thingy, its for creating a perfect bun??? why would i need that. haha. but it works quite well. just doesnt turn out like how it shows in the picture:( we also tried out some halloween props hahaha awesome man i wanna be a fairy.

all feeling feeling twinkerbell

went home, changed and off to northpoint w jan to have our late dinner at wendys. after that planned to buy old chang kee but dah tutup sigh. so went to down to the basement to buy gio gio but it was also closing. last choice was kfc.. so bought the cheese fries and ate while walking back home-.- to wrap it up, i love today although my mum ddnt manage to tag along. hmm asyrf left his friend's beats with me. wanted to pass to him today but yeah he went off to town..:((( rindu so many people. nak tgk cartoon hahaha okie blog tmr xoxo

Blogging via phone

2011-10-09T04:09:00.000+08:00

Im blogging using my phone...which is way easier actually. Laptop batt low, too lazy to charge.

I planned to stay at home today, studying. But my leg just cant stand staying at home. Just need to go out. Haish. jan's plan to attend the engangement was canceled. Yay! So i dont have to stress about what to wear. Im gg out to have my brunch now w jannah and her mum. Meeting jannah's mum at jurong. I feel like eating at sakura, admiralty park. But its just too far away frm where im staying now. asyrf ade match. as usual. i really dont understand all this soccer stuff but yeah i just agree je lah to what he says hek hek. i only watch soccer when i feel like i want to, oh and when my dad watches it at home, oh and kalau ade baihaki or irfan bachdim other than that nah, i dont watch. ha ha. Hmm. Gg ikea w my parents tmr yay. Planning to buy a new clothing rack. I dont like having a cupboard in my room, it just takes up too much space.

Monday will be my maths paper two and biology paper. Need to memorise so many things. Sigh. I kinda miss my friends, i mean my foursomes, how close we all used to be. My schooldays are usually filled w laughters, i dont know what happened between us. But im glad i still have nazerah who never fails to help me and be there for me when i need her. Hope our friendship lasts! Hehe. Okay gg to bathe now. Blog again soon xoxo

new to blogger

2011-10-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

so......i decided to create a blog. okay maybe, start writing again cuz i realised i had this blog since 2008-_- when i was still in primary school. how suprising. oh well. i guess i just need this blog to write my thoughts and everything else that's gg on in my life. over here i can write as much as i want. as for facebook, it's just a bore now. tumblr is not suitable for blogging. twitter? nah. toooo many people on twitter already. i'll get use to this blogging. not gonna spend too much time to customize here and there. i guess i'll keep my blog simple. xoxo